I don't know where I got the idea, but somehow growing up, I had this idea that life would get easier. High school and college seemed so complicated, I guess I figured that somewhere along the way things would become more straightforward.

Although I've only 'walked' this earth for 29 years, I have seen things move the opposite direction. Decisions are harder and nothing seems 'easy'.

Even as I say that though, looking back on the hard times and seeing how God has used them in my life doesn't mean I would change any of it. I am thankful for the lessons God has taught me and the challenges he has walked through with me. I'm thankful for the way he doesn't allow me to stay where I am, but continues to encourage me to grow and in the midst of the hard times, he is working to bring me to be more like his son.

As I face challenges down the road, I can only be confident that I don't walk alone, and that God is working in it for good. I often have to resort to plan B, C, or Q... Isn't it neat to think that this is God's plan A. There isn't something coming that is going to surprise him...he's prepared and ready to stand with us, to fight with us and for us, to bring about good! Wow!!

On a side note: This idea somehow came up during a book discussion with my 6th graders. I shared my insight that they shouldn't think that life would become easier. They looked at me like they clearly knew that and my thought was strange...praise God they are wiser than I was in this way:)

Isaiah 6

This morning, there was a visiting pastor at our church. I'm always a little bit nervous about listening to a new pastor since I don't know how easy he will be to understand... Today went well:)

The text for the sermon was Isaiah 6:1-9. He talked about how God desires us to have the face of Jesus Christ...just like new parents want to see their traits reflected in their child. There are a couple ways that God does this.
-God wants us to have a correct image of him--"Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord of hosts. the whole earth is full of His glory." God is holy and pure and that needs to be proclaimed on earth as it is in heaven.
-God wants us to have a correct image of ourselves--When we see God's holiness, we can't help but cry out "Woe is me...because I am a man (woman) of unclean lips". We see our own sin. We can often get caught in a trap of explaining away our sins while being critical of others. We might claim to have high standards ourselves while seeing pride in others.
-God wants to purify and cleanse us and bring healing--he wants to do this through his ways and not some program or path we choose.

This pastor pointed out that only after Isaiah's lips were cleansed did he hear God's voice. In vs. 1, Isaiah saw the Lord, and in verse 8 Isaiah heard the Lord. We need to have clean hearts, hands, and lips to hear God's voice. Only when we are spending time in God's word will we be able to hear and recognize that voice.

May God grant us eyes to see clearly, ears to hear, and hearts to be obedient.

snow

Can I just say how much I love snow...

On our trip this weekend, we stopped in Sinaia where it was snowing and the ground was covered in snow. Although it made walking a little bit harder and our shoes and socks wet, I still love it.

I love the beauty of snow--the way anything looks prettier with snow. I think I could stare out the window and watch it snow for hours on end, especially if I was in the mountains.

I love the sound of snow--when you walk on it and it creaks. There just isn't another sound like it.

I also like that it doesn't last forever... like so many other things in life, it needs to be enjoyed as it comes, because it will soon be gone.

A.R.E.

No, it doesn't stand for a form of 'to be', nor is a conjugation of the verb 'to have' in Romanian. Quite simply, it is an acronym for Authentic Romanian Experience.

My friend Jenni is visiting this week and I wanted to have her travel outside of Bucharest to see the beauty of Romania and to have some 'authentic' experiences. Never did I have this in mind...

It all started Friday morning. I always plan to arrive 20 min or so before my train to buy my tickets and have never had a problem with this method, but walking in the doors that morning, I knew there would be trouble. The waiting area (with 14 windows open selling tickets was PACKED!!). I hadn't taken into account the holiday weekend, but this felt completely different.

I had Jenni stand in line while I went to meet the person helping me submit my visa documents to stage one. When I returned 10 minutes later, she hadn't moved...

This is when I started getting the feeling we weren't going to make our 9:42 train. It was taking 10-15 minutes/ticketing process which I just didn't understand. There were news cameras all over doing interviews. I still wasn't figuring out what was taking so long. As I got close and could actually witness the transactions, I saw there was no money being exchanged... strange and there was a lot more data entry going on than normal for ticket purchases.

Just as I was nearing the front of the line, they closed window 7 and opened window 8, so the whole line reconfigured and shifted--with much pushing because it wasn't really a line to begin with, but more of a pushing mass. So, I finally made it to the window, bought, my ticket, and then shoved my way back out of the mass. As I was walking away, I heard the teller ask if there was anyone else in line who wanted to pay with money. All this, three hours after we started standing in line. No, we didn't make the 9:42 train, but instead left one the 13:00 train (which left 20 minutes late).

After buying tickets in Brasov, and thinking back to things I had seen in Bucharest, I think I finally put the pieces together. Not only was it a holiday weekend (Unirii Day on Monday), but is also an election weekend (elections are always held on Sundays). So, CFR (the train company) was 'offering' free tickets for students (under the age of 25) to return home to vote. Thus the extra data entry--name, address, reason for free ticket, etc... Had I known all this at 9:30, I might have been able to go to the front of the line and we might have caught the 9:42 train.

But, Jenni certainly got an ARE out of the deal.

The rest of our time away was nice, although also 'laced' with more authentic experiences...late trains, closed castles, and humorous tour incidents.

Amazed

Just a couple things to share with you about why the greatest kids are at BCA...

This year, we (elementary teachers) decided to do a Fall Program instead of tackling a Christmas program. We decided to let each grade level pick what they wanted to do and give freedom in hopes of variety. My kids split into two groups. One group decided to sing "Love in Any Language" and learn sign language for the chorus. (During a how-to speech earlier in the year one student had demonstrated that.) The other group decided to do a skit.

As I sat with the group working on the skit, I tried to encourage their creativity while at the same time trying to steer them toward a workable option that wasn't about pilgrims and Indians. They came up with the neatest skit! It is a bit hard to describe, but the 'message' is that we all need to work together.

We performed the program during secondary chapel today and it was wonderful to see each child participate--singing songs (some in Romanian), reciting Bible verses, reading poems, etc. Wow!!

The second thing made my day today! One of our 4th graders was asking her dad (the 4th grade teacher) what she could do during our staff meeting. I was passing by and jumped in with a list of ideas (something else my mom is good at): read a book, draw a picture, do homework, or write me a letter. She ran off and we had our meeting.

After we finished, I was talking to our maintenance man in the courtyard, she ran up to me and handed me a decorated card. I'm going to share the contents because they made me smile and laugh at the end of a long day (long three days really). I hope it's a smile for you too.

Front cover: You'r a Great Teacher Mss Westrum!

Inside: Dear Mss. Westrum,
You are a great teaher. Even though you are not my teacher. You are kind, gental, caring and you allways have a smile on you'r face! I think you are one of the BEST teachers ever!!!

M-Master in teaching
S-Star smile
S-stray A students

W-Westrum is your last name
E-Encuraging
S-Sharful
T-Takes time doing things
R-Respectful
U-Unhappy sometimes
M-Master in loving her students!!


Wow!! What an encouragement to me:) I can't wait until tomorrow!

Visa fun...

My three year long-term visa expired on November 14 and due to some complications, I hadn't been able to turn in my paperwork to renew it before the expiration. So, I needed to leave Romania before it expired and then re-enter the country after the expiration (on a 90 day tourist visa). I decided to go to Budapest and visit friends who used to live here in Bucharest.

As I went through passport control to depart Romania, the following conversation occurred:
Guard: When did you last enter Romania? (Checking to see if it was more than 90 days ago)
Me: August 2 (handing over my visa (permis de sedere))
Guard: It expires today.
Me: That's why I'm leaving.
Woman in the booth with him: You can come back after 3 months.
Me: speechless, smiling, taking passport, walking away...

I spent part of the flight to Budapest thinking through different scenarios about what might happen when I attempted to return to Bucharest just two days later. What possibilities might there be if I was told I needed to leave for 3 months?

The best idea I came up with was that my parents and I could do an apartment swap. I could go to Prague and teach my mom's class and they could come and live in Bucharest and my mom could teach my class. With that idea in my mind (which I haven't told my parents yet), I decided that it was all in God's hands--whether I was to stay or leave--and I didn't need to worry about it (one hope of the weekend was rest).

My plane landed in Romania on Sunday evening and I headed toward the passport control to enter Romania. Here is the conversation that ensued:
Guard: Where are you coming from?
Me: Budapest
Guard: Do you have a visa?
Me: No, I had one, but it expired before I could renew it so I had to leave. I'm going to work right now to start the process of renewing it.
Guard: Ok. (stamping my passport and returning it to me)

Yeah, God! It certainly could have ended up differently:)

Like my mom...

There are so many things I admire about my mother. One of the things I remember growing up is how she was always able to fix everything--the dishwasher, washing machine, toaster oven, microwave... Nothing ever died a 'quick death' around our house. She was able to sustain it's functionality well beyond what it might otherwise have been. And that's a good thing in case you were wondering.

This weekend, I decided to tackle my washing machine. It is only two years old (which is hard to believe), but I have been frustrated that it wasn't cleaning well anymore. So, I finally figured out how to remove the drawer where you put the softener, Calgon, detergent, bleach, etc. It was certainly gross enough to cause problems on its own. Then I figured out how to remove the 'trap' where all the junk collects. It seems strange that with all front-loading washers I've ever used, in order to remove this piece, you always end up with water pouring out onto the floor. In the trap I found 10 bani (not even worth picking up on the street) and some little stuff. But I think that most exciting thing was getting both of these pieces back in the right places and that the washer still functions correctly. Even more exciting is that my clothes are smelling cleaner again:)

The Tide

I love reading aloud to my class and rereading books that have touched me. This past week I started reading Rules by Cynthia Lord and came across a great image. The narrator is talking about the difference between high and low tide and how she can tell which it is just by driving by--the different smells and colors.

I've been trying to get a handle on how things are going this fall for me and this seems to be the best image that I can come across--it's like the tide. Things don't ever seem to be stable for long. One week, day, or even hour, things can seem to be settled and it feels like low tide--I can stand up and walk around and spend time combing the beach for shells left when the tide went out.

That can all change in an instant with a phone call, parent stopping by, checking my email, or walking into the office. Suddenly it is high tide and I am struggling to keep treading water and not get swept out to sea. I don't want to give the impression that it's all bad though. Learning to tread water is a great skill (figuratively as well as in 'real life'--I was a lifeguard/swim instructor) and then to be able to move toward higher ground in the midst of high tide--figuring out which things need to become necessities and which things can be swept away.

It has been good for me to find glimpses of the bigger picture. At parent teacher conferences, one of the families took time to close our conference in prayer. Wow! It was an encouragement to be reminded of God's faithfulness and to hear their prayers for me and the school. Friday night I was able to step back and be reminded of the joys of being around the kids at BCA. StuCu stayed after school to set up for a cafe night and we ordered pizza and enjoyed playing games before the event got started. I love looking around at the room at the students and thinking about the amazing ways that God is working in their lives. This morning as I proctored the ACT test, I was thrilled to be able to pray for those students from BCA sitting in that room--that God would direct their paths, lead them to himself, grow them into men/women of God, etc. How amazing to have this privilege. And all this in the midst of high tide and a hard week. God is so good!!!

(I don't know a ton about tides, etc so if my analogy is a bit off for those of you who do, I'm sorry...)

love

At our small group meeting last weekend, the question came up, does God love everyone the same...

I try to give my students time to free write each day and sometimes I plan it so I can write with them instead of spending that time teaching one group or the other. So, this week, I took some time to ponder.

I've heard it said that although a parent might love each of their children, that love might be different toward each child. The needs of the child and the relationship that has been formed 'changes' the love. I can't speak from personal experience...

Each of us have different needs and a different relationship with our heavenly father. Our needs are different as are our personalities, hopes, and dreams.

I was thinking how this might connect with love languages as well. Since God is the one who formed us and knows us more deeply than we can even understand ourselves, it's neat to think that he would love us in the ways that mean the most to us individually. At any moment, he knows our greatest joys and the deepest hurts-those things that no one else can see.

I'm not trying to question God's love for any one person for I believe that God does love each of us, but I picture that looking different in each of our lives as we walk in relationship with him. Maybe as we get closer, we can better see how God loves us, our eyes being opened to new ways that he is at work or has been at work--like a deepening friendship when you learn to see and understand the other person better and the ways that they love you.

Thoughts?

By Your Side

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

--Tenth Avenue North

What a great reminder of God's promise never to leave us or forsake us. How often we fight the hands that hold us...