Am I satisfied with Christ alone? I would like to think that I would be able to honestly reply to that question affirmatively. However, I find myself hesitating. What is it about living in the world that I feel like I need things to hold on to or people to fill my days? If I had to choose between the things of this world or my relationship with God, how trivial the things would seem and yet they hold more allure for me than I wish they did.
God, help me to know that if I have nothing else in this world, that you are enough. May your love, grace, strength, presence, hope, guidance, support, refuge, faithfulness... be more than enough to satisfy me-that I won't turn to anything else, but instead cling to you.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Bland
I think that (bland) is an accurate portrayal of my life in Romania at this time. The city doesn't have much color, the food doesn't have a distinctive taste, and there isn't much spice in my life.
I made my normal trip to the piaĊ£a (market) today to get fruits and vegetables for the week. It was amazing to be surrounded by the sounds, smells, and colors within that space. I had a wonderful time wandering between the booths looking for the best price and quality and enjoyed interacting with the people selling.
As I left the market and journeyed home, I tried to finds bits of color within the city that I maybe hadn't noticed before. There is an apartment building being painted shades of blue (most are still cement colored).
There are flower stands on most corners-freshly stocked today with bright and beautiful flowers.
Our apartment is bright and welcoming as well-what a blessing!
I think also of the laughter last night with dear friends, recounting our summers and last week-the "adventures" that may not have been so funny at the time, but as we looked back, we could see the humor.
On a recommendation from a friend, I made peach jam this afternoon as well and I am looking forward to a new flavor in the fridge.
Last week I learned to Cha-Cha (just in case I might need it). Perhaps this week I will learn the Salsa or re-learn the Waltz. How is it that I had to come to Bucharest to do that:)
It is encouraging to think about the little things that bring light and color into my life-especially as the blandness can be a bit overwhelming at times. It is my prayer that God would continue to open my eyes to the pieces of beauty that He has placed in this country, city, and the lives I interact with each day.
I made my normal trip to the piaĊ£a (market) today to get fruits and vegetables for the week. It was amazing to be surrounded by the sounds, smells, and colors within that space. I had a wonderful time wandering between the booths looking for the best price and quality and enjoyed interacting with the people selling.
As I left the market and journeyed home, I tried to finds bits of color within the city that I maybe hadn't noticed before. There is an apartment building being painted shades of blue (most are still cement colored).
There are flower stands on most corners-freshly stocked today with bright and beautiful flowers.
Our apartment is bright and welcoming as well-what a blessing!
I think also of the laughter last night with dear friends, recounting our summers and last week-the "adventures" that may not have been so funny at the time, but as we looked back, we could see the humor.
On a recommendation from a friend, I made peach jam this afternoon as well and I am looking forward to a new flavor in the fridge.
Last week I learned to Cha-Cha (just in case I might need it). Perhaps this week I will learn the Salsa or re-learn the Waltz. How is it that I had to come to Bucharest to do that:)
It is encouraging to think about the little things that bring light and color into my life-especially as the blandness can be a bit overwhelming at times. It is my prayer that God would continue to open my eyes to the pieces of beauty that He has placed in this country, city, and the lives I interact with each day.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Wounded
There isn't really any other way to describe it. I don't know that you even would have spotted it, unless you chose to look into my eyes. I tried not to let on, didn't want others to know that my heart had been pierced deeply-I wish it wasn't so. I want to be one of those people that isn't bothered by the little things, but I find that I am-that I feel deeply-both the joys and the pain (sorrows). So, my heart is wounded, my confidence shaken, and my eyes downcast. I don't deal with this very well. It isn't a comfortable feeling and yet one that I find I confront more than I want to.
I turn this evening to the Great Physician-for I feel that he alone knows the truth of this wound and can speak truth to bring healing. Perhaps, if it causes me to look into the eyes of my Heavenly Father and seek to listen to what He says about me instead of believing lies, perhaps then being wounded isn't such a bad thing after all. Perhaps some good can come from the cleansing tears and the wounded soul.
Psalm 147:3-5-
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of stars and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.
Isaiah 61:1-3-
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has appointed me to preach the good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and
release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn, and
provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and
a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
I turn this evening to the Great Physician-for I feel that he alone knows the truth of this wound and can speak truth to bring healing. Perhaps, if it causes me to look into the eyes of my Heavenly Father and seek to listen to what He says about me instead of believing lies, perhaps then being wounded isn't such a bad thing after all. Perhaps some good can come from the cleansing tears and the wounded soul.
Psalm 147:3-5-
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of stars and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.
Isaiah 61:1-3-
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has appointed me to preach the good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and
release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn, and
provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and
a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
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