Tire Treads

As has probably become obvious, car maintenance is something relatively new for me.  I brought my car by a shop to have them listen to it...helping me to know if the noises I was hearing were 'nromal' or if they should cause me concern.  The technician was a great help.  He walked through checking for fluids--all levels good.  Then he started the car.  He came around to listen to the engine and diagnosed 'rod knock'.  I'm sure if you want to know more, you can find that on the internet somewhere, but please don't ask me to explain it to you.  It all made perfect sense as he was explaining it to me, but it seems to have vanished from my short-term memory.

Anyhow...after giving me the car's death sentence (since there's no repair that can be done--just gradual deterioration) he also mentioned that my tires were worn.  I hadn't really paid any attention to my tires, just kind of relied on them functioning well.  He pointed to the 'wear line', showing me that the tires were already well worn and in need of replacement.  I didn't know such a line existed on tires.  I moved ahead with getting a quote on tires (learning what size tires my car needed).

As I've been slowly gathering information on tire prices at different locations, I thought about how this seems to parallel my life in the past few years.  There is much that I took for granted, assuming that I'd have the energy needed, that things were working well...  Only as I've slowed down to look have I seen how badly things were worn.  It's meant an adjustment to rest and refreshment, allowing myself to slow down and try living in different ways.

Rest doesn't just mean sitting around all day doing nothing, but it has meant a change in how I approach decisions and opportunities.  I've generally been the type of person that jumps at opportunities, expecting that I'll find the time and energy to fulfill my commitments well.  It seems that I've often not taken into account the reality of how I've been made.  I've been forced to stop and look at the tire treads on my car, to see that they're worn.

Some of the things that have brought me rest:
-not having to set an alarm clock some mornings--waking up to the sun
-physical labor of building a deck alongside family
-estended times of sitting with God without much of an agenda
-hanging with my nieces
-taking a walk around Lake Harriet with a dear friend and colleague
-visiting friends from college and enjoying long conversations
-sampling apple varieties that I haven't tasted in years
-enjoying the changing leaves
-space in my days to drive my grandpa to Rochester for a radiation treatment, ending the day with a trip to a family farm for a ride in a combine
-small group
-being able to stay up late without feeling guilty
-dreaming big
-listening
-playing cards with my grandparents

Before the snow comes, I need to make a decision and get my tires replaced.  I hope that in this year in the US, God will replace/renew those parts of my life that are worn down and enable me to walk forward in the full knowledge of his presence with me no matter what comes next.

Finally Feel Like Living

by Elizabeth Hunnicutt & Joel Hanson

I heard somebody say,

"The worst decision you can make

is to make no decision"

& I think they may be right,

I'm still trying to decide

Oh this feels like a collision

Cause what if I regret some choice along the way

What if failure finally catches me

If I want to fly

I'm gonna have to say goodbye

& start a brand new way of life

That finally feels like living

& I've got to to try

Stop holding on to all these lies

I'm tired of wasting all this time

I finally feel like living

I could wait until I know

just what to do & where to go

But I might be here forever

I could surrender to my fears,

like I've done for all these years

& never know if it gets better

There's a chance that I might miss

these old familiar walls

& these chains I couldn't even see

Oh I thought I was

But I wasn't living

I'm stepping out

Into a new beginning



I had the privilege of having lunch with a friend and talking about the future...the desire to walk a different path from this point, to move ahead in health and faith instead of remaining in ways that have become so easy and familiar.  I love that this song points toward that direction--the fear of leaving behind a life that has become comfortable and the tension of walking ahead into the unknowns.  It's a new beginning.

Beauty

I had a wonderful time in Portland, OR with dear friends.  It was wonderful to have time for enjoying company as well as the beauty of God's creation.  Amazing!

My Brother

I don't often get to spend lots of time around my brother.  Having moved into the Twin Cities, I'm now living only 20 minutes away from my brother Jason and his wife Megan.  I love being this close! 

The day my car died (the first time), it was my brother who arrived before the two truck and waited with me until it arrived, driving with me to the service station to talk with the mechanic.  He unloaded my truck and loaned me his vehicle for a few days.  Again, during the second bout with car troubles, my brother walked me through some basic testing as directed by the agency renting me the car--checking for a spark, listening for fuel pump, and testing fuel line pressure (all new things for me).  It helped to have two pairs of hands to walk through those tests.  I've so appreciated his calm demeanor and his shoulder to cry on while facing car problems.

It's also been fun these past few weeks to work with Jason and Megan on their new deck.  They planned the entire project out and Jason did a great job enabling Megan and me to help.  It's not easy having two women waiting on you for direction while you're trying to figure out solutions to problems.  Jason handled it with much grace.  Late nights hanging out in their backyard working beneath floodlights are some of my fondest memories.  I love the physical work, but also the joy of working beside my brother and his wife.

In preparation for their annual cider party, Jason and I drove to Delano to pick up the apples.  Along the way we snapped a picture of a chicken, turned around to go to a dollar store, and enjoyed petting/holding all the animals at the apple orchard (along with a game of tether ball).  The cider party was a success!  It was special to see my brother engaging everyone who came--no matter what age or physical ability.  He taught about mashing the apples and then pressing them.  What a neat guy!  I'm blessed to call him my brother.  I look forward to more fun memories throughout the next months!

Turkey Baster and Too Much Oil

Go graciously provided a car for me to use this year.  During the first two weeks, it was towed twice.  The first time, it started just fine later that afternoon when the auto shop people got around to looking at it.  The next time it was towed, it ended up that the fuel pump had 'died'--a major repair for those like me who didn't know.  So, I am feeling a little gun-shy about my car.

After the second time in the shop, I thought I heard a strange noise in the engine, but not really knowing much about cars and not being familiar with this car I didn't think too much about it.  Last Friday I flew to Portland for the week, leaving my car behind (clearly).  My mom used it one day and mentioned that the noise sounded like the oil was low.  I had checked the oil right before it was towed the second time so didn't think that was the problem---but now I wasn't the only one hearing things.  I returned last night and decided to check the oil before even driving it home.  In the dimness of the parking lot lights, I thought for sure the oil was low--down to the bottom of the dipstick--not a good thing.  As I drove home, I called my mom and brother for advice.  After hearing that I probably shouldn't drive it anywhere before adding oil, I braved using the motorcycle this morning to go get some oil.  I opened the hood this afternoon and dumped some in after spilling some on the engine--funnels are great.  Her I was figuring that it would come up to the top to tell me it's full--like a gas tank, glass, any other reservoir.  But, I've since learned that isn't the way it works with oil--and if I'd stopped to think about it a bit I probably could have figured that one out.  But in the moment, I was so sure this was the right plan of attack that I didn't stop to do much thinking.  I then checked the oil again.  It had somehow jumped to now being over two inches about the 'full mark'.  I knew that wasn't a good thing either, but couldn't figure out how 2 quarts could have made that much difference.  So...I called my mom after doing some reading on the internet (quality information you know) and figured that again, before driving it I needed to remove the excess oil.  Having only once before watched my dad do an oil change, that seemed a formidable task.  So, I decided to try a new technique--a turkey baster from above.  When that didn't yield results, I attached a hose to the end of the baster and tried again.  (I still hadn't spent much time thinking about how far down the oil must be considering the length of the dipstick.)  In case you hadn't already figure it out, I didn't get anything out.  So, I called my brother to ask for his help in removing some of the excess oil.  He arrived on his white horse (cleverly disguised as an aging Volvo with a loud muffler) and taught me about removing the excess oil.  It's now been cleaned up and the oil level is back to normal.  I can only figure that it would have been wise to double check the oil level before adding additional oil this afternoon.  Apparently my initial look last night was faulty or God multiplied the oil that I added today.  Either way, there's still a funny noise that I'll take steps to figure out next week...maybe it's normal, but after not owning/driving a car consistently for seven years I've kind of forgotten what cars in normal condition sound like.  So...I feel like I'm taking a class on car maintenance and failing while trying really hard.  I'm learning there's so much to learn.  I'm almost at the point of being able to laugh at it all...almost.