Doing Junkie

I'm a 'doing junkie'.  It's not something that entered my conscious thought until recently.  I like to be doing things, especially things that seem good.  As I returned to the US this summer, I brought with me great ideas of what I would do during my time here.  I looked forward to getting involved in a church and finding other service organizations that needed willing hands.  I had a picture of what I thought this year in the US would look like, but my expectations have been very different from the reality of this year.  (Isn't that generally the case with expectations though?)

From the first week I stepped into Hope, I knew I was supposed to attend church there.  I got connected with a small group and started looking for other opportunities.  As I explored different avenues, it was as if I would get to the point of expressing interest and then feel like God was asking me not to pursue that opportunity any longer.  I was looking for ways to build relationships (a good thing, right) and serve (good, right) and felt a check in my spirit. 

This kind of confused me.  I had all this time to use and I was trying to use it well, trying to find places in which to invest.  Why wasn't it working out the way I imagined?

As I drove home from church last week it was like I caught a glimpse of the gift of rest God is giving me in this season.  It has felt sometimes difficult to accept and at the same time like a tremendous blessing.  I'm the type of person who sees a need and often jumps to remedy the need.  Feeling like God has called me to sit back and wait has been a challenge, but in that waiting, I've seen my tendency toward being a 'doing junkie' instead of turning to God.  I've filled the time and space in my life to avoid confronting deep heart issues.  In being 'forced' to slow down enough to hear my heart, I've given myself permission to listen and to begin to take steps to bring healing to areas that have been long ignored and neglected.  Now that I've seen this need, how will God act next to help bring wholeness in my life?