Smashed Potatoes

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (The Message)

So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.

I wrote an email update about potatoes recently, but I've been thinking more about them in recent days.  Often times, the potatoes we get 'served' are much larger than we might and seem unappealing.  For me, the more appealing ways to eat potatoes are as french fries, chips, mashed potatoes with lots of toppings,or au gratin.  I picture myself staring at this grouping of potatoes on my plate (the trial) and as I sit there, I see it transforming before my very eyes.  It's as if Jesus says, 'I won't remove the potato from your plate, but we'll work together on this one.' 
 
As we look back on the trials in our lives, we can often times more clearly see God's hand and leading.  It doesn't usually take away the pain or hurt that often accompanies trials.  As I reflect on the past seven years in Romania, I've often thought that if I knew all the challenges these years held when I first arrived in Bucharest, I would likely have been on the first plane back to Minnesota.  In God's faithfulness, He walked me through one serving of potatoes at a time.  I can't say that I can look back and understand the purpose of every single difficult thing, but I can see how I've grown (which is certainly probably part if not all of the purpose).  I'm so thankful that God only gives us the size serving of potatoes that he knows we can handle, without threatening that there are more on the way, or pushing us faster than we're ready to go.  What a great God we have.

When Did It Happen?

I was sorting through my coins trying to come up with exact change in the grocery store last week.  (In Romania, most cashiers expect and will even sometimes demand exact payment of a bill.)  I was shocked to look down and see a penny with a completely different reverse side than the one I'd grown familiar with.  According to the US mint website the design I'm most famliar with (Lincoln Memorial) has been used since 1959.  The new penny features a union shield with 13 vertical stripes which represent the states that joined in one compact union to support the federal government, which is represented by the horizontal bar above. The horizontal bar features the inscription E PLURIBUS UNUM—"out of many, one". The union shield, which dates back to the 1780s, was used widely during the Civil War. The shield is also featured on frescoes by Constantino Brumidi throughout the halls of the U.S. Capitol Building completed in the mid-19th century.

License Plates Randomness

I found myself watching license plates during my time in Idaho and decided to keep track of each state I saw.  I think it'd be fun to see how many I can see in my year in the US.  Listed below are the states I saw while in Idaho. 

Alaska
Arkansas
California
Colorado
Idaho
Kansas
Maryland
Michigan
Minnesota
Missouri
Montana
Nevada
New Mexico
Oregon
Tennessee
Texas
Utah
Virginia
Washington
Wisconsin
Wyoming

Stuck

I spent the past two weeks in Idaho for my first graduate level class.  Knowing I had a weekend in between the two weeks, I started looking for activites to do.  About the only thing that jumped off the page was white water rafting.  It looked fun on one hand and also very daunting! 

I put off calling to make a reservation until Saturday morning.  I had hoped to be able to take a 1/2 day trip that would travel through class 2 and 3 rapids.  That trip was full, but the woman offered the option of joining a trip covering a different section of the river with class 3 and 4 rapids.  I reluctantly agreed wondering what I was getting myself into.

I arrived at the headquarters, signed my waiver, got my gear (helmet--wasn't expecting that one, lifejacket, paddle), and sat down for the safety explanation. We split up into two boats and started down the river, using the calm part of the river (first 2 miles or so) to learn about coordinating paddling and working together. We entered the section with rapids. It was a blast and a great adrenaline rush as we plunged through the rapids, barely scraping past some rocks and have waves rush over us.

As we got to the end, the guide asked whether I enjoyed the trip.  After hearing that I did, he mentioned another trip with similar rapids the following day.  I didn't figure I would be able to swing that, but started thinking about coming back the afternoon after my final day of classes.

I called back late in the week hoping to find a slot to do the same section of river.  I ended up finding a spot with another company. 

We got on the river just after 2 on Friday afternoon.  The trip started out in a very similar fashion.  We passed through the first series of rapids.  At the beginning of the first class 4 rapids we came to, we hit a rock, spinning us slowly through the rapids--not exactly beautiful exection, but we ended the rapids just fine.

Down the river we went until we hit the final class 4 rapids of the day.  We hit a rough patch and one of the people in our raft got hurdled out of the raft.  Because the water was traveling so fast, he was swept through the entire rapids before being picked up.  The rest of us found ourselves 'stuck' on a rock, being heaved to and fro in the water--raft standing on its long side near flipping upside down before being pushed down by the next wave.  Our guide tried a bunch of maneuvers to get us unstuck as the other raft guide and kayaker with our group tried to offer guidance from the shore.  10 min later we were away from the spot enough to catch a rope and get pulled away.  All paddles but mine had been swept away which made the rest of a rapids section a bit more exciting as we all clung to the boat while our guide navigated the waters.  It wasn't an experience I'd like to necessarily repeat, but I wouldn't have a problem jumping into a raft for some more white water rafting (although right now my whole body aches from hanging on and being buffeted by the water).

Why tell the story?  There's part of my mind that seems to thrive on playing through the details instead of allowing sleep so it's nice to have it written out.  As I drove back to my hotel, I was thinking about my life and this year ahead.  In many ways, I think I've felt like I had to put my life on hold...waiting for the right circumstances to exist before experiencing new things, traveling, or whatever.  I don't need to be stuck!  There are plenty of adventures I can have right now, new things to try, and many things to learn.  I think some of those times, God will provide a friend to take along, and other times I think He'll call me to step out in faith on my own, trusting Him. It's fun to have discovered a new thing I can enjoy and it saddens me to think what I would have missed out on if I hadn't taken the risk of going alone and along for the ride.

Who Am I?

by Casting Crowns

Who am I?

That the Lord of all the earth,
would care to know my name,

Would care to feel my hurt.

Who am I?

That the bright and morning star,
would choose to light the way,

For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,

But because of what you've done.

Not because of what I've done,

But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow,

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,

And you've told me who I am.

I am yours. I am yours.

Who am I?

That the eyes that see my sin,
would look on me with love

And watch me rise again.

Who am I?

That the voice that calmed the sea,
would call out through the rain,

And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,

But because of what you've done.

Not because of what I've done,

But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow,

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,

And you've told me who I am.

I am yours.

Whom shall I fear

Whom shall I fear

I am yours... I am yours...

As I look ahead to this year in the US, I struggled with a tension of knowing who I am and not being drawn to define myself by what I do.  I've been trained as a teacher and have spent the past eight years using that training.  This year, I'm stepping back and waiting...to see what plans God has for me, for God's vision of my future, for renewal of my heart and mind.  There are so many things I could fill my days with, but I want to be sure I'm choosing only those things God has planned for me.

Who am I? I am the daughter of a King who loves and cherishes me.  He sees me and knows me.  My life is His.

Orchestra Conductor

I'm continually amazed at the way God orchestrates events in my life. 

As I sat in class the past two weeks learning about amazing techniques to help students, I couldn't help but wonder how I would begin to use them (knowing that if I wasn't able to practice this year, I'd find it harder to remember the following year).  I kept setting the questions aside, figuring that I'd wait and see what developed once I got settled in MN next month. 

As we were packing up today (our last day of class), I found myself in conversation with the director of the Idaho Learning Center talking about Minnesota (where she grew up).  She asked whether I had a job using nild (program that I just learned) and I explained that I really didn't have anything lined up yet but was going to just kind of see what happened.  She asked a few more questions about where I'd be living and then shared that she had family in the same general area that might be looking for an educational therapist to work with their son. 

Wow!  Out of the blue it was just a reminder that God sees all the details and sees what's going to happen around the corner--whether it seems like a blessing or problem.  What an amazing God we serve!  I'm not sure that this situation will work out, but the reminder was such a blessing!  It's not because I'm someone special or that God takes special interest in my life---it's who He is!

Likemindedness

(No, I'm not sure that's a word, but I sure like it!)

I'm in the beautiful state of Idaho (I had to drive off the beaten path a little way to discover the extravagant beauty) and just finished my first graduate level class--a two week, 4 credit, crash course in educational therapy. I was joined by 16 other students and two instructors (most with more life experience than me which made it loads of fun!). Together we explored techniques to help struggling students be successful in school. My heart was encouraged as I sat in the sessions imagining the tangible difference this could make in the lives of students and their families. It was an incredible blessing to be surrounded by men and women who share a similar passion--loving, helping, and protecting children. I found my passion and desire growing by leaps and bounds. How cool is God to orchestrate these types of situations in our lives--to bring us in contact with men and women who can fuel the passion he's placed within us.

My Sister

I've had the privilege of living with my sister and her family the past 6 weeks since I've arrived back in the US. They opened their home and guest bedroom to me and have welcomed me into their family activities. I've had the joy of helping with meals, playing with her daughters, changing diapers, taking walks, etc. It's been wonderful to build relationships with my nieces!

I've seen my sister balancing the needs of those around her. Deborah uses her energy to bless those in her family. She is a wonderful teacher for her children, gently helping them see how to do things differently or correct their errors. Deborah is open for exploration and learning by doing. Abigail is often on the counter 'helping' with cooking even though that adds a layer of difficulty. The kids tag along to the garden to help weed/plant. Both girls helped weed the play area in their backyard. (Abigail was a bit more intentional about her help. Ellinor was looking for something to put in her mouth.) My sister desires that her children grow and learn. Right now Ellinor is teething and Abigail is toilet-training. This makes for interesting and sometimes long days. Deborah blesses her children by continuing to respond to them patiently and lovingly.

Having the great privilege of living with this family means I see much of what happens. I don't mean to put my sister on a pedestal. There are certainly days that challenge her and push her harder than she would like. But, it's been a great blessing to live beside her and I bless her for her ministry to her family!

Unknowns

It's been seven years since I've truly lived in the United States. As I've returned the past summers, it has been to the great blessing of living with other people. As I look ahead to this fall and moving into a place that will be 'my own', I find I suddenly have lots of questions...that right now mostly revolve around groceries and shopping in general...

-what truly is a good price for butter, grapes, hamburgers, etc.
(I got suckered in by a sign that said great deal and lots of savings only to find after I got home that it really wasn't)
-what stores offer the best prices?
(some of it depends on what's available I suppose, but Super Targets and Walmarts didn't exist in my area of the world before my departure---can't really even remember what stores I frequented)
-is it truly free?
(often in Romania the packing would claim 5% free, but the price for the bottle had been increased)
-when is a good time to buy a winter coat, sweaters, etc
(I've only been around in the summers so haven't had the luxury of waiting until things go on sale or become 'in season')

Some of it is hard because in Romania I know the answers to these questions...
MegaImage is probably the best store for grocery shopping. It offers great prices and good selection. You can usually find whatever you're looking for. Fruit is often best purchased at a piata (open air market). Butter generally costs 2.5 Ron for 250 grams. I don't buy grapes or hamburger in Romania. A good price for milk is about 2.4 Ron. [Although, now that the VAT has jumped from 19% to 24% all of these prices are probably changing.]