There is a lot of comfort in staying between the lane lines, of knowing exactly where the road is headed, and of being able to follow along with GPS directions. When snow covers the road, removing even glimpses of those guiding dashed white lines, I find myself longing for the comfort of the known, the ease of seeing instead of guessing and hoping I stay on my part of the road and the other drivers stick to theirs. Main highways offer security--marked exits, warning about upcoming roads, and information about distances to nearing cities. Less traveled gravel roads don't come with any guarantees. Without a map, there's no way to know what roads might intersect until you happen upon them. No way of knowing what towns lie ahead. I'm not likely to turn off a main highway in favor of a gravel road heading off into the distance.
I can remember back a number of years to an opporunity to share with my home church about living in Romania and I quoted Robert Frost's famous poem:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Certainly taking the road less traveled makes all the difference. It's often not well-paved or lit. No one has bothered to paint lane lines. There might be long stretches when you don't pass others. And yet, in the journey of taking the road less traveled, we learn to walk by faith instead of by sight. We learn to trust that God knows where the road is leading and instead of needing to be in control we can surrender. We begin to cherish the people God brings into our lives--those who walk beside us for long stretches and those whose lives just briefly intersect ours. The road less traveled might be bumpy and dusty, leaving us weary and worn. God faithfully provides rest stops along the way, bringing healing and restoration to our souls. It's scary and there's part of me that longs for the ease of the road well-traveled...but I don't think there's anything that could convince me to turn back now.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Killing Mosquitos
When they first start to show up I have such a vengeance for destroying them. I want to ensure they are nowhere near my body, have no chance to take anything of mine. Slowly, they wear me down. Instead of seeking to obliterate their lives I somehow get to the point of being ok living with their presence in my life. Instead of turning on the light and hunting every last mosquito down, I pull the sheet over my head and resign myself to hearing the incessant buzz until I blissfully fall asleep. Last night I sat outside and the mosquitos showed up. I noticed them around my face and dealt a number deathly blows to those settling on my legs and arms. It was only once I stood up that I realized my flip-flop clad feet had been attacked. Some bright mosquitos had searched out the easiest place to attack and had survived without even my awareness of what was happening.
I've been reminded recently of the battle raging, of the enemy prowling around to attack. It's easy to identify a lion roaring toward you and certainly a lion's attack won't go unnoticed. Mosquitos can sneak under the radar and attack--perhaps not a deadly blow but certainly a blow that takes energy away from what could be, that causes us to spend time itching and swatting instead of living. While a lion's attack might be a traumatic event, the mosquito comes quietly whispering lies and subtly backing up those lies with a series of events that don't seem all that bad initially. The cumulative effect is devastation. No doubt about it, the enemy is alive and well and is using any means available to attack us. Last night I was intent on killing the mosquitos around me. I pray for eyes and a heart that enable me to kill the whispers of the enemy as well, to stand and continue to protect against the roaring lion as well as the buzzing mosquitos. I'm so thankful that God hasn't given me that job alone. Not only is he with me in the battle, I have a wonderful community around me that is supporting me in it as well.
I've been reminded recently of the battle raging, of the enemy prowling around to attack. It's easy to identify a lion roaring toward you and certainly a lion's attack won't go unnoticed. Mosquitos can sneak under the radar and attack--perhaps not a deadly blow but certainly a blow that takes energy away from what could be, that causes us to spend time itching and swatting instead of living. While a lion's attack might be a traumatic event, the mosquito comes quietly whispering lies and subtly backing up those lies with a series of events that don't seem all that bad initially. The cumulative effect is devastation. No doubt about it, the enemy is alive and well and is using any means available to attack us. Last night I was intent on killing the mosquitos around me. I pray for eyes and a heart that enable me to kill the whispers of the enemy as well, to stand and continue to protect against the roaring lion as well as the buzzing mosquitos. I'm so thankful that God hasn't given me that job alone. Not only is he with me in the battle, I have a wonderful community around me that is supporting me in it as well.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Finger Painting
Fresh pots of paint, clean fingers, visions of artistic grandeur...and so the process begins. Strokes added with care, colors mixed and swirled, picture taking form...the process continues. Finishing touches placed with care, pots closed, hands washed...completion.
Waking up this morning, that was the image on my mind...finger painting. I've been wrestling with remembering. The past seven years in Romania were incredible...on so many levels...growth, challenges, fears, relationships, learning, stretching... If I think about my time in Romania as a painting... The yellows might be new friends brought into my life: Rhonda, Carmen, Ky, Jen... The pinks are success stories with students: Brandon, Daniel, Grace... The greens could be areas of growth: faith building trials, leadership. Black are clouds of conflict and pain. Oranges are slices of hope: new apartment, small group, visits from friends...
As I remember all the pieces somehow the picture starts gets skewed. Instead of seeing the individual pieces of the painting, the intricate color choices, I walk away from my memories with a single color sense...darkness. Picture the colors of paint all stirred together as often happens when little children sit down to paint. Though yellows, greens, and blues have been chosen with care, when mixed together, it all looks brown. Brown isn't generally selected as a favorite color. It isn't often selected for pictures beyond tree trunks and houses. It isn't cheerful and bright on a dreery winter day.
I don't want it to be all brown. I don't want to look back and feel darkness. I want to remember the brightness and light, the hope and growth. It's taking some effort to sorth through the memories, a resolution to fight a battle in my mind. I want Christ's perspective instead of my own so that as he leads I'll willingly follow, completely trusting what comes next, excited about the color choices to come and the picture to be painted.
Waking up this morning, that was the image on my mind...finger painting. I've been wrestling with remembering. The past seven years in Romania were incredible...on so many levels...growth, challenges, fears, relationships, learning, stretching... If I think about my time in Romania as a painting... The yellows might be new friends brought into my life: Rhonda, Carmen, Ky, Jen... The pinks are success stories with students: Brandon, Daniel, Grace... The greens could be areas of growth: faith building trials, leadership. Black are clouds of conflict and pain. Oranges are slices of hope: new apartment, small group, visits from friends...
As I remember all the pieces somehow the picture starts gets skewed. Instead of seeing the individual pieces of the painting, the intricate color choices, I walk away from my memories with a single color sense...darkness. Picture the colors of paint all stirred together as often happens when little children sit down to paint. Though yellows, greens, and blues have been chosen with care, when mixed together, it all looks brown. Brown isn't generally selected as a favorite color. It isn't often selected for pictures beyond tree trunks and houses. It isn't cheerful and bright on a dreery winter day.
I don't want it to be all brown. I don't want to look back and feel darkness. I want to remember the brightness and light, the hope and growth. It's taking some effort to sorth through the memories, a resolution to fight a battle in my mind. I want Christ's perspective instead of my own so that as he leads I'll willingly follow, completely trusting what comes next, excited about the color choices to come and the picture to be painted.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Ice Dams
As my cousin prepared to leave her house for the year, we walked through a document of information on how to care for various parts of the house. Some pieces of information were seasonal--what to do when it starts to snow or when everything starts to thaw. I was told to watch the amount of snow on the roof and be aware of ice dams.
It's an understatment to say that we've had a lot of snow already this year. There are multiple feet of snow piled on the corners and everywhere possible. Mailboxes are just barely visible. As I drove in and out of the garage, it looked like a lot of snow on the roof, but I didn't stop to calculate how much was probably resting there.
Last week, as I sat ensconed in warmth inside my house, preparing for Christmas I heard a soft new noise, kind of like dripping. It's not the first time I've been startled to hear a new noise in my house, so I didn't feel too concerned (first problem). As I finished packing, I figured I better identify where the noise was coming from before leaving for a few days.
As I walked around the front entry, I found that the noise was coming from the front door, where it was leaking in the house---not a good sign. I called my parents, asking for their help over the phone and then went up on the roof to investigate. To even get up on the roof, I had to clear a bunch of snow from the balacony and garage roof. I then created a path up the roof toward the front entry area--no real fear of falling since there was probably 1-2 feet of snow covering the entire roof, preventing sliding. So, to fast forward just a bit...my father and I spent around 24 'man-hours' on the roof, clearning the snow, chopping at some icy areas, installing heat tapes, and putting salt on the ice. I was so thankful to have his help!
As I look back, I wish I had better known how to prevent the problem. I wish I had seen the ice building up and recognized it as the ice dam it was, creating problems inside the house.
I had all the information I needed. I was told to watch for ice dams, and I was watching. I just didn't know how to identify an ice dam. I knew I needed to avoid them, but didn't know how to recognize them. My watching was kind of pointless.
I fear sometimes that's how I live my spiritual life. I know I need to watch out for the attacks of the devil. He's cunning and is seeking to destroy followers of Christ. I know that he is the father of lies. And yet, as I try to stand guard and be prepared, I don't always know how to identify his attacks.
Just like others driving by my house probably easily recognized the ice dam forming on the front of my house, others often see attacks in my life for what they are before I understand. That's why we need each other. We help each other do the work of standing guard and of dismantling the ice dams (attacks of the enemy). Alone the task feels daunting and impossible, but in community, our enemy doesn't stand a chance!
I pray that God will continue to open my eyes to be prepared and stand strong against satan. I pray that he will enable me to stand beside my brothers and sisters and lovingly encourage and support them. What will you do?
It's an understatment to say that we've had a lot of snow already this year. There are multiple feet of snow piled on the corners and everywhere possible. Mailboxes are just barely visible. As I drove in and out of the garage, it looked like a lot of snow on the roof, but I didn't stop to calculate how much was probably resting there.
Last week, as I sat ensconed in warmth inside my house, preparing for Christmas I heard a soft new noise, kind of like dripping. It's not the first time I've been startled to hear a new noise in my house, so I didn't feel too concerned (first problem). As I finished packing, I figured I better identify where the noise was coming from before leaving for a few days.
As I walked around the front entry, I found that the noise was coming from the front door, where it was leaking in the house---not a good sign. I called my parents, asking for their help over the phone and then went up on the roof to investigate. To even get up on the roof, I had to clear a bunch of snow from the balacony and garage roof. I then created a path up the roof toward the front entry area--no real fear of falling since there was probably 1-2 feet of snow covering the entire roof, preventing sliding. So, to fast forward just a bit...my father and I spent around 24 'man-hours' on the roof, clearning the snow, chopping at some icy areas, installing heat tapes, and putting salt on the ice. I was so thankful to have his help!
I had all the information I needed. I was told to watch for ice dams, and I was watching. I just didn't know how to identify an ice dam. I knew I needed to avoid them, but didn't know how to recognize them. My watching was kind of pointless.
I fear sometimes that's how I live my spiritual life. I know I need to watch out for the attacks of the devil. He's cunning and is seeking to destroy followers of Christ. I know that he is the father of lies. And yet, as I try to stand guard and be prepared, I don't always know how to identify his attacks.
Just like others driving by my house probably easily recognized the ice dam forming on the front of my house, others often see attacks in my life for what they are before I understand. That's why we need each other. We help each other do the work of standing guard and of dismantling the ice dams (attacks of the enemy). Alone the task feels daunting and impossible, but in community, our enemy doesn't stand a chance!
I pray that God will continue to open my eyes to be prepared and stand strong against satan. I pray that he will enable me to stand beside my brothers and sisters and lovingly encourage and support them. What will you do?
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
White as Snow
I recently wrote the following in an email update:
It’s been wonderful to be in Minnesota this winter to enjoy the brilliant white snow (and family, new friends, and so many other wonderful blessings!). During the big snowfall (8 inches) last week I was with my sister and her family in Hutchinson, MN. As it began to snow shortly before lunch, I wondered how long it would take until the grass was no longer visible. It took only a few hours. As we went out to play in the snow later that afternoon after snow blowing the driveway, I marveled at the incredible beauty of the snow. My drive back to the Twin Cities was incredibly beautiful. I wondered at how the landscape had been transformed.
Isaiah 1:18
“Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the LORD.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
With such a perfect picture of the pure whiteness of snow, I found myself meditating on the incredible gift of forgiveness. I pictured my sins like the blades of grass. They stuck up, completely visible, before the snow began falling. The snow covered them in such a way that they were no longer visible. How wonderful to imagine! But even greater is that not only are our sins forgiven and cleansed, we don’t ever have to worry about them again. Unlike the grass that will certainly be visible with the coming of spring, we don’t have to worry that God is going to bring up sins he’s already forgiven. They’re cleansed, taken care of, for good. Wow! What amazing grace!
May God continue to draw us nearer to himself. May we be quick to seek his forgiveness and the forgiveness of others. May we live in the security that our sins have been made white as snow…not by our own effort, but through the work of Jesus Christ on our behalf.
As a snowstorm hit Minnesota this past weekend dumping 16-20 inches of snow on the area, it was amazing to continue to reflect on this idea. The 'whiteness' of the snow is overwhelming at times--there's so much of it! It's being trucked out of the city and off the roads.
It is neat to picture Christ 'dumping' his righteousness on us (not trying to take lightly that incredible gift), in such amounts that we can't question whether our sins have been forgiven. They're removed, forever...with pure whiteness, holiness. Whoa!
It’s been wonderful to be in Minnesota this winter to enjoy the brilliant white snow (and family, new friends, and so many other wonderful blessings!). During the big snowfall (8 inches) last week I was with my sister and her family in Hutchinson, MN. As it began to snow shortly before lunch, I wondered how long it would take until the grass was no longer visible. It took only a few hours. As we went out to play in the snow later that afternoon after snow blowing the driveway, I marveled at the incredible beauty of the snow. My drive back to the Twin Cities was incredibly beautiful. I wondered at how the landscape had been transformed.
Isaiah 1:18
“Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the LORD.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
With such a perfect picture of the pure whiteness of snow, I found myself meditating on the incredible gift of forgiveness. I pictured my sins like the blades of grass. They stuck up, completely visible, before the snow began falling. The snow covered them in such a way that they were no longer visible. How wonderful to imagine! But even greater is that not only are our sins forgiven and cleansed, we don’t ever have to worry about them again. Unlike the grass that will certainly be visible with the coming of spring, we don’t have to worry that God is going to bring up sins he’s already forgiven. They’re cleansed, taken care of, for good. Wow! What amazing grace!
May God continue to draw us nearer to himself. May we be quick to seek his forgiveness and the forgiveness of others. May we live in the security that our sins have been made white as snow…not by our own effort, but through the work of Jesus Christ on our behalf.
As a snowstorm hit Minnesota this past weekend dumping 16-20 inches of snow on the area, it was amazing to continue to reflect on this idea. The 'whiteness' of the snow is overwhelming at times--there's so much of it! It's being trucked out of the city and off the roads.
It is neat to picture Christ 'dumping' his righteousness on us (not trying to take lightly that incredible gift), in such amounts that we can't question whether our sins have been forgiven. They're removed, forever...with pure whiteness, holiness. Whoa!
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Combustion
I love living in a house with a fireplace! It's wonderful to curl up on the couch in the afternoons/evenings to enjoy a good book or get some school work done while enjoying the comfort of a fire.
As I sat watching the fire the other night, it occurred to me that the logs are never coming back out of the fire. There isn't anything that can be done to take the ashes from the fire and somehow recreate the logs for the next fire. They've undergone a change and because it was a chemical change, it can never be undone.
Hebrews 11:28-29
Therefore, since we are receving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverance and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire".
What an incredible thought! God is a consuming fire. If I think about it, we are to be changed when we're in the presence of God. It is my dear hope that the time I spend in God's presence deeply affects me, at the core and very being of who I am. I hope and pray that I am so changed that I am unable to return to the woman I once was. I want to be radically different. Perhaps it won't always be visible on the outside, but I want there to be a difference. This change isn't something that I can somehow drum up or create on my own. It comes only by being in the presence of a holy and loving God.
How is God changing you?
God, I pray that you would radically change my heart and mind, that I would allow you complete access to my life. I pray that I would be changed in such a way that I would be unable to return to what once was. Please draw me closer to you.
As I sat watching the fire the other night, it occurred to me that the logs are never coming back out of the fire. There isn't anything that can be done to take the ashes from the fire and somehow recreate the logs for the next fire. They've undergone a change and because it was a chemical change, it can never be undone.
Hebrews 11:28-29
Therefore, since we are receving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverance and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire".
What an incredible thought! God is a consuming fire. If I think about it, we are to be changed when we're in the presence of God. It is my dear hope that the time I spend in God's presence deeply affects me, at the core and very being of who I am. I hope and pray that I am so changed that I am unable to return to the woman I once was. I want to be radically different. Perhaps it won't always be visible on the outside, but I want there to be a difference. This change isn't something that I can somehow drum up or create on my own. It comes only by being in the presence of a holy and loving God.
How is God changing you?
God, I pray that you would radically change my heart and mind, that I would allow you complete access to my life. I pray that I would be changed in such a way that I would be unable to return to what once was. Please draw me closer to you.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Unclogging the Pipes
I've heard it said somewhere that the distance between my head and heart is only 18 inches. An 18 inch journey. So why does it seem so much longer? Why is it so hard for information clearly known in the head to penetrate the heart? Perhaps there's a clog somewhere.
Recently, the blower furnace where I'm living started to fill with water. I figured the sound I heard wasn't normal. I worked with my dad and brother to try and figure out the problem. It turns out the problem wasn't within the furnace, but in the pipes once the condensate left the furnace. Somewhere in the 40 feet of pipes between the furnace and the basement drain there was a clog.
Because the pipes made many twists and turns at the top of the journey to the basement, we were unable to resolve the clog from the top, even with using draino. The next step was creating a better access point from the basement which allowed us to insert a snake in the pipe and ultimately to resolve the issue. Initially the water coming through the pipe was black, full of suspended crud and dragging along more solids. We filled a spaghetti sauce jar with the sediment from the pipes. Icky black stuff that clearly wasn't good for the health of the pipes.
I think the same thing often happens in our lives. There's so much we know floating around in our heads that doesn't get down and impact our hearts. We know the truth, but we struggle with accepting it and allowing that truth to transform our lives. It leads me to conclude that I need some serious plumbing help. I need to cry out to God asking that he clean out the path between my head and heart allowing his truth to pentrate my heart and radically affect my life. Perhaps there are lies deeply embedded that need to be uprooted or sin that needs to be confessed and forgiven. I'm sure my heavenly Father is excited to get started.
Recently, the blower furnace where I'm living started to fill with water. I figured the sound I heard wasn't normal. I worked with my dad and brother to try and figure out the problem. It turns out the problem wasn't within the furnace, but in the pipes once the condensate left the furnace. Somewhere in the 40 feet of pipes between the furnace and the basement drain there was a clog.
Because the pipes made many twists and turns at the top of the journey to the basement, we were unable to resolve the clog from the top, even with using draino. The next step was creating a better access point from the basement which allowed us to insert a snake in the pipe and ultimately to resolve the issue. Initially the water coming through the pipe was black, full of suspended crud and dragging along more solids. We filled a spaghetti sauce jar with the sediment from the pipes. Icky black stuff that clearly wasn't good for the health of the pipes.
I think the same thing often happens in our lives. There's so much we know floating around in our heads that doesn't get down and impact our hearts. We know the truth, but we struggle with accepting it and allowing that truth to transform our lives. It leads me to conclude that I need some serious plumbing help. I need to cry out to God asking that he clean out the path between my head and heart allowing his truth to pentrate my heart and radically affect my life. Perhaps there are lies deeply embedded that need to be uprooted or sin that needs to be confessed and forgiven. I'm sure my heavenly Father is excited to get started.
Laura's Literary Development
During my birthday this week, I pulled out photo albums and scrapbooks from elementary school. It was neat to flip through the pages looking at pictures I'd drawn, stories I'd written, and a variety of thoughts about life. It made for lots of laughter:)
1st Grade:
The Blue Butterfly
Ond day I was sitting in the grass and I saw a butterfly in the sky. It was cute and blue. I tried to catch it but I missed.
The Day With Santa
One day I rode with Santa in his sled. It was so fun. I almost fell out. But Santa grabbed me. It was a close one. I loved that day.
One day Ted went to the fridge to get some grapes. But there were no grapes left. He went to the store to get some grapes. The store was out of grapes. So he had to wait a week. Then he got to eat all the grapes.
2nd Grade:
A Star Story
It looks like it's sort of squished up there. It looks like there's not enough room for 1 million stars. I wouldn't like to be a star because it would be squished. I think it would be fun because yu might see a lot of things. You might get sort of bored though.
The Castle of Gold
Once there was a castle of gold. It was beautiful. You would love to live in it. The king and queen held a lot of parties. You would have a marvelous time. I probably would too. You would love to own it. So would I. But in those days you would have your head cut off. You would be sorry. The End
3rd Grade:
I've Got the Touch
When I went to school I nibbled on my pencil while I was doing my homeowkr. It began to turn to ice cream. I was so surprised I almost ran back home to tell my mother. I did not finish my homework because I did not have a pencil. So I had to borrow one frmo my friend. I went to band and started to practice my lesson but my flute turne to ice cream! I ran out of the room and put my teeth o the handle of the door. Oops! I forgot about my touch. The door started to turn to ice cream. Oh, no! I ran back to class. It was time for lunch. I ate my lunch in the classroom. I went home early because I did not want to find out what would happen next.
(written after reading The Chocolate Touch)
1st Grade:
The Blue Butterfly
Ond day I was sitting in the grass and I saw a butterfly in the sky. It was cute and blue. I tried to catch it but I missed.
The Day With Santa
One day I rode with Santa in his sled. It was so fun. I almost fell out. But Santa grabbed me. It was a close one. I loved that day.
One day Ted went to the fridge to get some grapes. But there were no grapes left. He went to the store to get some grapes. The store was out of grapes. So he had to wait a week. Then he got to eat all the grapes.
2nd Grade:
A Star Story
It looks like it's sort of squished up there. It looks like there's not enough room for 1 million stars. I wouldn't like to be a star because it would be squished. I think it would be fun because yu might see a lot of things. You might get sort of bored though.
The Castle of Gold
Once there was a castle of gold. It was beautiful. You would love to live in it. The king and queen held a lot of parties. You would have a marvelous time. I probably would too. You would love to own it. So would I. But in those days you would have your head cut off. You would be sorry. The End
3rd Grade:
I've Got the Touch
When I went to school I nibbled on my pencil while I was doing my homeowkr. It began to turn to ice cream. I was so surprised I almost ran back home to tell my mother. I did not finish my homework because I did not have a pencil. So I had to borrow one frmo my friend. I went to band and started to practice my lesson but my flute turne to ice cream! I ran out of the room and put my teeth o the handle of the door. Oops! I forgot about my touch. The door started to turn to ice cream. Oh, no! I ran back to class. It was time for lunch. I ate my lunch in the classroom. I went home early because I did not want to find out what would happen next.
(written after reading The Chocolate Touch)
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
BCA 7 Years In Review
As I prepard to share with churches and supporters about my ministry at BCA, I thought it would be neat to compile pictures from my time in Romania. You can see the school years labeled. Some years are missing because the pictures are on CDs in Bucharest. It's amazing to think about each of the lives that has been impacted by BCA and by my life.
Many thanks to my dear friend Elizabeth Hunnicutt who gave permission for me to use her song, "Finally Feel Like Living".
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Doing Junkie
I'm a 'doing junkie'. It's not something that entered my conscious thought until recently. I like to be doing things, especially things that seem good. As I returned to the US this summer, I brought with me great ideas of what I would do during my time here. I looked forward to getting involved in a church and finding other service organizations that needed willing hands. I had a picture of what I thought this year in the US would look like, but my expectations have been very different from the reality of this year. (Isn't that generally the case with expectations though?)
From the first week I stepped into Hope, I knew I was supposed to attend church there. I got connected with a small group and started looking for other opportunities. As I explored different avenues, it was as if I would get to the point of expressing interest and then feel like God was asking me not to pursue that opportunity any longer. I was looking for ways to build relationships (a good thing, right) and serve (good, right) and felt a check in my spirit.
This kind of confused me. I had all this time to use and I was trying to use it well, trying to find places in which to invest. Why wasn't it working out the way I imagined?
As I drove home from church last week it was like I caught a glimpse of the gift of rest God is giving me in this season. It has felt sometimes difficult to accept and at the same time like a tremendous blessing. I'm the type of person who sees a need and often jumps to remedy the need. Feeling like God has called me to sit back and wait has been a challenge, but in that waiting, I've seen my tendency toward being a 'doing junkie' instead of turning to God. I've filled the time and space in my life to avoid confronting deep heart issues. In being 'forced' to slow down enough to hear my heart, I've given myself permission to listen and to begin to take steps to bring healing to areas that have been long ignored and neglected. Now that I've seen this need, how will God act next to help bring wholeness in my life?
From the first week I stepped into Hope, I knew I was supposed to attend church there. I got connected with a small group and started looking for other opportunities. As I explored different avenues, it was as if I would get to the point of expressing interest and then feel like God was asking me not to pursue that opportunity any longer. I was looking for ways to build relationships (a good thing, right) and serve (good, right) and felt a check in my spirit.
This kind of confused me. I had all this time to use and I was trying to use it well, trying to find places in which to invest. Why wasn't it working out the way I imagined?
As I drove home from church last week it was like I caught a glimpse of the gift of rest God is giving me in this season. It has felt sometimes difficult to accept and at the same time like a tremendous blessing. I'm the type of person who sees a need and often jumps to remedy the need. Feeling like God has called me to sit back and wait has been a challenge, but in that waiting, I've seen my tendency toward being a 'doing junkie' instead of turning to God. I've filled the time and space in my life to avoid confronting deep heart issues. In being 'forced' to slow down enough to hear my heart, I've given myself permission to listen and to begin to take steps to bring healing to areas that have been long ignored and neglected. Now that I've seen this need, how will God act next to help bring wholeness in my life?
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