After 6+ Years

I recently found myself sifting through old emails...from the last 6 years since my arrival in Bucharest. It was a wonderful, encouraging trip down memory lane. I came across one email from someone I'd not been in contact with for at least 4 years. After reconnecting via facebook (where else) he asked what I've been up to and what I've been doing. I thought about the last 6+ years of my life and tried to summarize them...no easy task. I started thinking about all I've learned, done, seen, tried, etc. Even listing the different classes I've taught doesn't begin to scratch the surface of all the pieces of my life that have been affected during my time here.

There's a part of me that looks back in awe and amazement. When I first stepped off the plane in Bucharest on August 18, 2003 (or somewhere close to that), I never imagined that I'd still be in Romania right now. In high school and college, if you'd have asked me where I would be or what I'd be doing when I turned 30, this certainly wouldn't have been part of the picture I'd have described. My mind couldn't have conceived it...and yet I wouldn't change it, wouldn't give it up.

I'm so thankful for the journey God's brought me on...so thankful that God is faithful and is continuing to work in my life...so thankful for the hope of a future with Him...so thankful for the people who have impacted my life so deeply...thankful.

So often in the Bible we see God commanding His people to remember--who He is and what He's already done for them. It's easy for me to get caught up in the 'light and momentary trials' I face on a day to day basis and forget the many wonderful things God has done on my behalf. I want to remember...the joy of completing my first year of teaching here...the lessons learned from shaving my head...the blessing of simple pleasures...the amazing people who have touched my life...the way God brought me through challenges...remember.

Saying No

I said 'no' last night in an email...no to taking on a commitment. It felt kind of strange since it's something I've done before, an event that I've planned and often willingly participated in. But this time, I said 'no'. In looking at my life it might seem strange that I find myself in that position, but it was just too much to think about, too much to add to the already packed calendar. So, I went with my gut, am sticking with it, and hoping that they'll be okay asking me again in the future.

Colmar, France

It was wonderful to have some time to enjoy the beauty of the area. We traveled an hour to the town of Colmar. It's picturesque and a lovely town to explore on foot. We were a bit surprised at the number of street vendors/bakeries/chocolatiers that offered us free samples as we walked by. It certainly enticed us to enter.


The streets were lovely to explore. Part of the city is named 'Little Venice'.


We happened upon an Easter market near one of the larger churches. It felt like such a neat treat to explore.

Does it Seem Strange to You?

The closest airport to Kandern, Germany was the Basel/Mulhouse airport. This airport rests right on/near the border between France (Mulhouse) and Switzerland (Basel). We arrived in plenty of time before our flight. The check in area felt deserted so we found a chunk of chairs to wait in and I started repacking my suitcase to accommodate some of the purchases I'd made earlier in the day. I decided it was best to double check that we were waiting in the right area. After wandering for a bit I realized there were four check in areas (two located in France and two in Switzerland). It turns out we had to cross over into Switzerland in order to check in for our flight and arrive at our departure gate. No border crossing though since both countries are part of the Schengen Area (although it appeared that in the past you may have had to show passports as there were booths and personnel there).

If

If I am perturbed by the reproach and misunderstanding that may follow action taken for the good of souls for whom I must give account, if I cannont commit the matter and go on in peace and in silence, remembering Gethsemane and the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can hurt another by speaking faithfully without much preparation of spirit, and without hurting myself far more than I hurt that other, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I hold on to choices of any kind, just because they are my choice; if I give any room to my private likes and dislikes, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am soft to myself and slide comfortably into the vice of self-pity and self-sympathy; if I do not by the grace of God practice fortitude, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or the twentieth); if I cannot take the first without making a fuss about my unworthiness, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I take offense easily, if I am content to continue in a cool unfriendliness, though friendship be possible, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love. (For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water however suddenly jolted.)

If the care of a soul (for a community) be entrusted to me, and I consent to subject it to weakening influences, because of the voice of the world - my immediate Christian world- fills my ears, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If monotony tries me, and I cannot stand drudgery; if stupid people fret me and little ruffles me on the edge; if I make much of the trifles of life, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If interruptions annoy me, and private cares make me impatient; if I shadow the souls about me because I myself am shadowed, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If souls can suffer alongside, and I hardly know it, because the spirit of discernment is not in me, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I become entangled in any 'inordinate affection'; if things or places or people hold me back from obedience to my Lord, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the praise of man elates me and his blame depresses me; if I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself; if I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I do not forget about such a trifle as personal success, so that it never crosses my mind, or if it does, is never given a moment's room there; if the cup of spiritual flattery tastes sweet to me, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I slip into the place that can be filled by Christ alone, making myself the first necessity to a soul instead of leading it to fasten upon Him, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If my interest in the work of others is cool; if I think in terms of my own special work; if the burdens of others are not my burdens too, and their joys mine, than I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I wonder why something trying is allowed, and press for prayer that it may be removed; if I cannot be trusted with any disappointment, and cannot go on in peace under any mystery, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

Amy Camichael


During this season of reflecting on Christ's great sacrifice, I'm struck by God's grace and patient love. I'm thankful that He is continuing to work in my life though it falls far short of being consumed by Him and understanding Calvary's love. I pray that I may more and more understand the sacrifice made for me.

Beautiful Bloggers

I have been nominated a "Beautiful Blogger" by my dear friend Mandy. I get to tell you seven interesting facts about me and then nominate seven more beautiful bloggers. I'll do my best on the seven interesting facts, but find the many of my blogging friends have fallen off the bandwagon.

1. I recently rediscovered my love for teaching--and discovered how it's been a theme throughout my entire life....Sunday school, nursery, Bible Instruction Class (BIC), swim lessons, and now in a classroom.

2. I've recently been inspired to learn how to drive a manual car. I know the basics from driving motorcycles, but think it'd be a great skill to have while living in Europe. On a side note...sitting in the front seat of a car feels really strange!

3. I love that Spring has arrived in Bucharest and that it's almost appropriate to wear sandals again. My feet love feeling free.

4. There is great satisfaction in mowing a lawn, shoveling snow, or spring cleaning. I miss the joy of the first two but I'm sure that after a year of living in the US I'll have had lots of opportunities.

5. Poppies are one of my favorite flowers right now--their frailty and yet beauty, their ability to survive in the strangest places.

6. In one day this past week, I was in four different countries (Germany, France, Switzerland, Romania)using three different currencies (Euro, Franc, Ron) and three different modes of transportation (walking, driving, flying).

7. I still hope one day to make it to every continent (I'm missing Australia and Antarctica).

NWC Around the World

I spent part of this past week in Germany at an educator's conference. It was a wonderful surprise to sit down to come across three different women who also attended Northwestern College. We are all serving MKs in Europe. It's amazing to hear how God moved in our lives to bring us to Romania, Germany, Austria, and Hungary. There was a neat camaraderie in remembering NWC. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to have attended NWC and the fun of making connections around the world.

Hope

I was finishing up some work at school before leaving for spring break yesterday afternoon when this song came on the radio. I wanted to finish every little bit possible so I wasn't taking work with me and wasn't worrying about coming back to piles of work. I loved the hope offered by this song...that although it feels like everything's falling apart we can trust that God is holding on to us and he is faithful.

Everything Falls
Fee

You said
You'd never leave or forsake me
When you said,
This life is gonna shake me
You said
This world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
This I know

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on

When I see
The darkness all around me
When I see
The tragedy has found me
I still believe
Your faithful arms will never let me go
And still I know

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on

Sorrow may last for the night
But hope is rising with the sun
Its rising with the sun
There will be storms in this life
But I know You will overcome

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find You mighty and strong
You keep holding on

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find You mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on

The Power of Expectations

The more I think about it, the more I realize that our expectations have great power. They have the ability to determine how we feel after an event or whether we actually enjoy a holiday. Expectations can leave us feeling trapped. Often expectations are left unspoken. Whether they are expectations we have of ourselves or others, events or situations, expectations shape the way we look at the world around us. Many times our expectations are high. When confronted with the difference between reality and our expectations we often feel discouraged.

Just after shaving my head I experienced a freedom from expectations. I broke through. Shaving my head wasn't what anyone expected...it wasn't what I expected...and there was great freedom in that. I suddenly felt liberated to be myself completely and my eyes felt opened in new ways.

Just a couple weeks ago, I had a similar experience. This time it didn't involve shaving my head, but sitting still. I found myself able to hear my heart, to see clearly what for many years has felt cloudy. And once again I found myself free from trying to live by my expectations and the expectations of others.

I'm sure the battle isn't over. It's a constant fight to be aware of the expectations I have and those that I feel others have for me. But, I'm excited about the bit of light I feel and the grace to step forward into each day trusting God to lead me into His plan for my life.

Uggh...

That's kind of how I've been feeling lately...like there wasn't much to share because it just wasn't even making sense within my own head. I pulled out my camera today to upload some new pictures of my class and found pictures that I had forgotten. It was fun to remember that although February was the longest short month ever, there were some wonderful memories in that month! I hope you'll smile with me even though some of these things are a bit outdated:)